Who knows when the moment first arrived? That sinking feeling in your stomach that casual dating was no longer working…that you wanted something more. Maybe it was after yet another failed date, or awkward one-night stand. Maybe when you went to a wedding of a close friend and saw how happy marriage had made them? Or perhaps you’ve been waiting for your career to settle, and now with that taken care of, you realize you’ve neglected your love life.
Regardless of what got you to this point, there are numerous things you can do to make the process of finding a long-term relationship rewarding, efficient and fun. Here are a few ideas.
1. Make a list
This is common advice, but surprisingly it’s not something that most people do. Write down everything you’re looking for in a partner. Physical attraction is important but try not to be superficial or overly rigid with physical attributes (hair or eye color, height, etc.) as it’s impossible to know what your ideal match will look like. Instead, focus on inner qualities. For me, when I was looking for my , I was looking for a woman that was feminine but not prissy, able to fit in no matter if we found ourselves at a corporate dinner, around a campfire with friends or at the bar doing shots. Someone that had a great sense of humor, was successful, professional, confident, honest, respectful of traditions, and socially conscious. I wanted a woman that was devoted to family, sensible with money, responsible with possessions, compassionate, and capable of having detailed and informed conversations about trivial as well as meaningful topics.
2. Talk to your friends
Call or better yet, meet a trusted friend in person and ask them to describe who they see as your ideal match. Compare it to your own list. You may be surprised by what you learn and what you might have missed!
3. Use tools to make the process more efficient
We believe that knowledge is power. Knowing your RelationshipDNA Type (rDNA Type) and the rDNA Type that you would be most compatible with will help you save time and be more efficient. If you’re not familiar with Relationship DNA, click here to learn more.
4. If you’re not doing it already, take advantage of online dating
Online dating is very efficient. It provides access to people that you would most likely never come across in real life. With dozens of apps and websites to choose from, it can be overwhelming to know which one is right for you. We recommend starting with sites that have a clear relationship focus. Dating sites tend to skew more towards relationships than apps, but it’s hard to know where love will come from, so feel free to Tinder yourself silly as long as you’re being honest with yourself.
5. Give your dating profile a tune up
If your goal is to find your long term someone, incomplete or sparsely populated profiles wont do you any favors. Within reason, the longer your profile the better. It will not only allow potential matches to learn more about you, it also shows that you’re serious about the finding long term love. Make sure to be clear that you are looking for a long-term relationship and don’t forget to include your rDNA Type as an adjective when describing yourself. When it comes to photos, choose recent, fun photos and for goodness sakes, no mirror selfies.
6. Be picky, and begin to go on dates
Since you are no longer just dating casually, it is important to make sure (as much as possible) that the people you’re going on actual dates with are worth the effort. This means that if any red flags pop up in your conversations before deciding to meet, you should highly consider cutting the person loose. Only go on dates with people that seem fun to talk to, you have met previously, or have been recommended by friends. If you’re chatting with someone online and they are very attractive but seem non-compatible, don’t waste your precious time.
7. Relax and have fun!
This might go without saying, but dating should be fun! Even if you are looking for a more serious spark, see every conversation and date as an adventure. Carry yourself with lightness and believe that the right person is out there for you.
It’s amazing that you’re considering making the leap from casual dating to a long-term partner. Following these steps will help you on your way. However, we highly recommend you utilize our services as part of your journey. rDNA will allow you to better understand yourself and your potential compatibilities, saving you a lot of time and energy in the dating process.